When Someone You Love Has a Drinking Problem

Often when I teach my alcohol awareness classes, I am asked by pupils what to do when someone you live is an alcoholic.

If you are having this experience you may be having difficulties with a number of agonizing emotions, including shame, worry, rage, and self-blame. The dilemma may be so overpowering that it may seem  easier to ignore it and pretend that nothing is wrong. But you realize  that something is wrong, and eventually,  denying it will be more harmful to you, other family members, and the person who can't stop drinking.

What You Should Not Do 

• Don't try  to punish, threaten, bribe, or preach.
• Don't attempt to be a martyr. Avoid emotional appeals that might just  boost feelings of guilt and the desire  to consume or use other drugs.
• Don't permit yourself to hide  or make excuses for problem drinker or shield them from the deserved  penalties of their behavior.
• Don't do their work for them,  leaving them with no feeling of importance or dignity.
• Don't hide or throw away  liquor bottles,   flush down the toilet  drugs, or keep them away  from situations where drinking  is present.
• Don't argue with the user when they are drunk  or high.
• Don't try to drink along with the alcoholic  or use  drugs with the drug user. 
• Above all, don't feel guilty or responsible for another's actions.

Handling  a loved one’s alcohol problem can be an a trying experience.  It’s vital that you take care of yourself and get the support you need.  It’s also critical to have people you can speak truthfully and openly with regarding  what you’re going through.

A excellent place to start off is by entering  a group such as Al-Anon, a nationally recognized group  for families coping with an alcoholic.  Hearing others  with the same problems can be a tremendous source of comfort and support. You can also turn to trusted friends, a therapist, or people in your faith community. You can find out  about drinking problems by taking an alcohol awareness class.

You can't force a person you love to stop abusing alcohol. As bad as your want,  and as hard as it is to watch, you can't  force  a person  to stop drinking. The decision is up to them and only them.  Don’t expect the person to stop drinking and remain sober without assistance.  they  will need treatment, support, and new coping skills to overcome their alcoholism.  Recovery is an long-term process.
Stopping drinking  is a bumpy road, requiring time and patience. An alcoholic will not all of a sudden  become a different person once sober. And the problems that led to the alcohol abuse in the first place will have to be faced.

Admitting that there’s a big  problem can be agonizing for the whole family, not just the alcoholic.  But don’t feel shame.  You're not the only person dealing with this  Alcoholism affects millions of families, from every social class, race, and culture. But there is support readily available for both you and your loved one. You can learn more  about drinking by taking an online alcohol class.